Yoga teacher training is challenging me not only physically, but mentally. Yoga is now, I’m not always in the now. I’m all over the place! I’ve had a chance to practice yoga everyday this past week and a half, and observe my busy mind, my dramatic and entertaining thoughts.
I’m not going to lie, the first few days of yoga teacher training were hard. Not the physical yoga part, the mental part. I have internal conversations with myself that go something like this- you shouldn’t be doing this, this is a waste of your time, what if you aren’t good at this, what are going to do after this month? Not so helpful, right?
I didn’t realize that this was my inner dialogue- which is part of why I fell in love with yoga initially. It helps me become aware of my mind and body through a practice of stillness and movement. It helps me find balance since I tend to be a bit type A, busy, not patient- you get it. Meditation is hard for me, but there’s something so therapeutic about body movement and it doesn’t always have to be cardio (my body movement of choice).
All I have to do is breathe- I even have the word tattooed on me somewhere, but I don’t think about it. All I can do is what is in front of me, and right now that is yoga! I’m completely falling in love with the principals and practice of yoga. Like I dream about yoga in savasana and when I’m falling asleep at night!
Maybe awareness is the first part of healing. I’m becoming aware of the thoughts that don’t serve me, and every day I’m allowing myself to enjoy the journey and the practice more. I have no clue what will happen next and no way of knowing, so why spend so much time thinking about it? Yoga is brining me into the now.